I Have Super Powers

I have Super Powers. My mom gave them to me. I can fit any amount of anything into my backpack. I am not joking. It is kind of ridiculous. I realized this today when I realized just how many things I needed with me in Somerset. This is what my backpack looked like after I packed it:

In the first pouch, in the very front, I keep my Black Parade confetti. I got it when I saw My Chemical Romance’s first show on their Black Parade tour. They had confetti cannons, and exploded confetti into the crowd. I put some in my pockets, and then decided to keep it in my backpack, so I would never lose it and always have it on me.

This is not all of it, just a small sample.

This is the second pouch. Mostly I only keep food there, but sometimes I put other small things in it so they don’t get lost in the hugeness of the bigger pouches. Currently, I have three tins of Study Mints (anise seed mints from William Sonoma that are my incentive to study—I only let myself eat them if I’m actually getting work done), a ball of yarn, a bag of sour gummy worms, mac & cheese from Panera, hand cream, a pencil sharpener, two tampons, a house key, a bar of Hershey’s chocolate, an old receipt, three tubes of Smarties, an eraser, two pencils (one of them is a Pokémon pencil that I’ve had since third or fourth grade), a Sharpie, a PrismaColor pen, and two bags of tea I stole from the café.

The third pouch isn’t super useful; it’s thin and narrow and not quite tall or wide enough for papers. I’ve been keeping my colored pencils and markers in it.

There are two open pouches on the sides, useful for tall things, like Saltines, a water bottle and an umbrella.

There are two other pouches right next to those that are the most useless things ever. I went through them for the purpose of this investigation and found a comb, two things of tinfoil and a pair of contacts. I have not used contacts in five years. It was kind of gross.

This is where I get really skilled. The biggest pouch is very, very big and I am very good at squishing things. There was a season of Twin Peaks, my wallet, the Stephen King book I’m currently reading, my headphones, my current knitting project, my computer’s charger, a knitting needle, a piece of pasta, my stuffed lion Pace and a full-sized blanket. It is full-sized. I promise.

There is a top pouch where you’re supposed to keep your iPod and stuff, but I don’t bother to bring it when I know I’ll be on my computer the whole time. This is another good place to keep small things, and also sharp things. There are four knitting needles, a pair of scissors, an iPod connector, two double A batteries, a pencil and two more rolls of Smarties.

Then there is the computer pouch. I keep my computer in it, along with papers I don’t want to get bent. The folded up one is an old essay I forgot was in there, then two edited copies of the same paper that’s different from the first paper, a stack of blank papers for drawing pictures for my blog, the reading I was supposed to do this weekend but didn’t, and then a homework assignment.

This is everything that was in my backpack.